Infants Sleep
Like most new parents, you may have lots of questions about infants sleep, or lack of sleep.
How do infants sleep? You want your infant to sleep safely through the night as early as possible. Parents seek advice from experts, paediatricians, and other regarding do’s and don’t’s around sleep time.
“Does your baby sleep through the night?” is one of the questions new parents hear the most. And the answer is almost always “NO”.
Newborn babies don’t know the difference between day and night yet. Their tiny stomachs don’t hold enough breast milk or formula to keep them satisfied for very long. They need to eat every 2 to 3 hours, no matter what time of day or night it is. So you have to accept these infants sleep patterns.
Infants sleep as much as 18 hours a day (or even more), sometimes in stretches of 3 to 4 hours at a time (if you are lucky). Infants have different phases of sleep: drowsiness, REM (rapid eye movement) sleep, light sleep, deep sleep, and very deep sleep. As babies grow, their periods of wakefulness increase. As the result, they sleep less and less.
For decades, the mainstream American parenting experts has been teaching new parents that infants and children should never be allowed to sleep with their parents. This, we’ve been told, will lead to poor sleep habits, unhealthy dependencies, ruined marriages and even infant suffocation.
Popular books, such as the “What to Expect” and the “Doctors Spock”, teach parents that sleeping with their children can be physically and emotionally unhealthy. The message is clear: a conscientious parent doesn’t sleep with her child. Some even say that sharing bed with your children is cultist behaviour!
Yet, we all know that the natural instinct of human being as well as animals is sleeping together. No one wants to be alone. Why must we fight against this most basic instinct? Our infants would certainly not want to be alone.
Yes, there are still a lot of controversies surrounding co-sleeping. It is a topic that brings heated debate between those on both sides of the argument. However, as a parent, you have to do what is best for your family and your baby. Over the years, friends and family have made their “comments” regarding our sleeping arrangements, but that is okay. At the end of the day, it is our decision.
The best advice to you is do your research, be educated, be safe. But, most importantly, follow your heart.
Every scientific study of infants sleep confirms that babies benefits from co-sleeping. Not one shred of evidence exists to support the widely held notion that co-sleep is detrimental to the psychological or physical health of infants.
Do you think it is confusing for a baby to receive cuddles during the day while also being taught that the same behaviour is inappropriate at night when they don’t even know the difference between night and day yet? After all, who is more likely to be well-adjusted, the child who learns that his needs will be met, or the one who is left alone for long periods of time?
Children who share sleep with their parents are actually more independent than their peers. They perform better in school; have higher self esteem, and fewer health problems. Well-intended parents make themselves available by intercom is simply not meeting the needs of their infants.
When infants are left alone to cry to sleep, common reports suggest that this will cause a stress hormone which may cause physical changes in the brain. They will be more prone to the effects of stress, more prone to illness (including mental illness).
After crying for a while, infant may stop crying and learn to go to sleep on his own. This is a short-term pay off for parents. The baby has not suddenly discovered quiet content. He simply is exhausted from his futile efforts to be nurtured. Fifteen years later, the same parents shrug their shoulders and wonder why their kids are shutting them out.
Though co-sleeping is common in most parts of the world. Many American parents would not consider it because they fear it will cause them sleep deprivation. Every scientific study concludes that parents who bring their babies to bed sleep longer and better.
A few parents do experience difficulty sleeping with a baby in their bed. For them, a “sidecar” or bedside sleeper is an ideal way to meet their needs for rest and their baby’s need for co-sleep. Keeping a crib or bassinet in the parents’ room is another option. A “family bed” is not for everyone, but creative solutions for co-sleep are abundant in our consumer-friendly culture. Perhaps you should care less about the décor of the room. Get rid of the queen size and get a king size bed, so everyone can stay together.
Breastfeeding mother who sleeps with her infant needs only turn to her child in the night in order to feed him, with neither mother nor child fully awakening. Although some evidence suggests babies who sleep with their mothers nurse more frequently at night than do babies who sleep alone, this behaviour may be biologically based: frequent night nursing significantly impact the delay of fertility, hence co-sleeping served an important function in family planning prior to widely accessible methods of artificial birth control.
Theories abound as to why most children sleep more soundly with their parents. The fundamental reason may be quite simply that children feel more relaxed and secure when they are close to the most important people in their lives. Although a majority of parents are able to accept a young child’s strong dependency needs during the day, American culture expects even the tiniest infant to “shut down” at bedtime for a period equalling the average adult’s nightly sleep requirement — in spite of the fact that most adults, given the choice, prefer not to sleep alone.
